My first wedding was in 1978, I was 31. It seemed terribly old then. Ha Ha. I had wanted to be married since the 6th grade. We got married in NYC in City Hall.
There was a very strange Puerto Rican couple before us, and I think about them sometimes and wonder if they are still married. I wore a Claude Montana wine leather jacket and matching pants and my own wine colored cowboy boots. We drove away from city hall in one of the first white stretch limos that hit the city. Standing up in the seats and looking out of the sunroof was the way we rode uptown. Ibiza Royalty in the Big Apple. Our witness was a very big coke dealer and friend, and my famous brother who was absolutely not famous then.
We had our reception at a friend’s loft and I ordered the wedding cake from Ferreras in Little Italy. Over decorated of course and many tiers.
It was a great party, and everybody came. Maybe 100 people or more showed up in the pink-ballooned space. I could not find my husband all night, later I found out he had spent most of the evening in the bathroom doing coke and whatever else you can do in the bathroom with a redhead from the shoe business. I saw her years later, and she was fat and frumpy, and that made me very happy.
We never discussed her fucking my husband at our wedding party, but she knew I knew.
My marriage lasted 17 years. We always think its forever. Thank God it is NOT!
My second wedding was two years ago. A country wedding at my home in Spain, Louise and Hassan. They had no wedding planner and everyone was making the table decorations themselves. Louise´s mom was making beautiful little flowered and ribbon boutonnieres for the men. We had been planning it for an entire year. I so wanted it to be successful that I was tied up in knots. The morning of the wedding, I felt so bad, I took myself to the emergency room . My stomach was swollen and hard. I told the doctor that in my opinion I had stomach cancer or a vaginal infection that had grown into my intestines. He suggested an xray. I had to wait 35 minutes to initially see the doctor and then another 30 minutes to get the xrays. Then they told me it would be another hour to know the results. I am sitting there in the waiting room, ready to have a seizure from nerves. I left 10 people in my house getting ready for this special day, and I am just waiting in the waiting room. I ran out of the hospital and flew home in my red mini. I arrive back and no one had known I was even gone. It was a beautiful service in my patio. I was very nervous, as I wanted everything perfect. When we went for diner and I didn’t see my name on the seat listings, I felt a bit sad, as they had asked me if I wanted to join them. “Yes of course!” I sat in down on one of my terraces chairs, and watched the wedding diner proceed from afar. At that point, I started smoking my second joint. The first one had very little effect. It was all too stressful, and I felt that the marijuana would be medicinal. As I was lighting up my third joint, and I do not smoke anything ever, I finally felt a bit more relaxed. Someone came up to me and said why aren’t you at the table. What table? Right in front of you we have your seat saved.
Wonderful, they did invite me, and put me right next to a very attractive TV announcer for the BBC. Unfortunately I could not even stand, never mind the 25ft. walk to the table.
So there I sat the entire night.. in my queenly chair, stoned like a garden statuette. It was cool, because so many people came up to talk to me. So you have figure out if its best join the party or have your own party…!
My Third wedding was last week. Pilar and Jorge. Also no wedding planner. When there is no wedding planner the bride and her mothers become the organizers. I told myself this time I would be relaxed and not get stoned or make trips to the hospital. But to be relaxed it took months of fixing up every broken thing in the house and a total revamp of my garden. Even with the toilet breaking a week before and having to call someone to clean the cesspool, that I didn’t even know I had. Just two days before the wedding, my head gardener comes with the news that we have a really big problem, if the toilet breaking and all that entailed, wasn’t a big problem, I was anxious to hear his version of a big problem.
Our newly made parking lot had a plague of ticks. OMG! That’s all I need is the guests covered in ticks. So that also got resolved. It was a 150 euro day, every day for weeks to fix what needed to be fixed. This is going to be my new career, hosting weddings at Finca Belon and this was the first official one of the season. The whole point of this entry is to share with you how absolutely lovely the event was. Having no family of my own, it was such a beautiful thing to see my property filled with such a loving family. And babies and baby strollers and little children all part of the moment.
The requests I received were rather interesting.
- Scotch tape to tape a sign up that told everyone where the bathroom was.
- Jorge then came to me with his 101 year old grandmother’s shoes that the rubber sole was coming apart on one shoe and the other one had completely fallen off. I being in the shoe business for so long was able to repair both shoes quickly.
- A safety pin, which in Spanish sounds very similar to umbrella. A guest had ripped her dress and needed a safety pin. I had none but thought of a vintage pin, I asked to see the girl and the dress. It was a V neck and obviously her boobies had broken the stitches. So I explained to her that her breast were lovely and she should show them, so she left happy.
- Clothes pins. Although Pilar came to see the garden three times to know where the sun would be at what time of the day, they had set up the dining tables directly under the sun. More specifically exactly where my seat was. I decided I would not change my seat even though I had in front of me the 101 year old grandmother, who was admirable as she still died her hair black, a 14 year old girl on one side of me and an Aunt that was smoking on the other. The long table in front of us also had sun, but being a younger aged table, they got quite ingenious and started to hang big tablecloths from the trees for shade. That is when I got the clothes pin request. Our long table had an older set of diners and none of the men felt inclined to start tree climbing to hang sun protection.
- Then I got the next request “do I have a large umbrella” so someone’s parents did have to sit in the sun. “yes I did”. I gave them a supersized logo umbrella that Helene made for me.
The food was delicious; the first course was a cheeseplate and home made bread. It was so hot the cheese melted immediately and made it very spreadable. I hadn’t had any cheese in over a year with my Mediterranean diet, so that is where I really began and ended. I ate so much cheese and bread when the other courses started coming I was stuffed. I got up and left my “Hot Seat” when course 4 came and it was some kind of pasta. I missed the main course (barbecue) and missed all the deserts (thank you).
I changed my outfit three times, from my $1800 white, beaded Dolce&Gabbana jeans that never fit, and now do with a white silk equipment blouse. I looked Very Beverly, including 3 kilos of Carlo Zini jewelry. That lasted about an hour. I was hot. The jeans were super hot and the jewelry was too heavy. I went back upstairs and tried something easier and lighter and no jewelry. That was fine till I took off the beaded black vintage top, to be replaced with cotton shirt from Zara. I made a mental note, that I needed mobility and comfort for any events that I present and attend. I wore my bling slider in pink lace for all three outfits, so people didn’t think I was totally out of my mind.
It had started at 1:00 pm. Lunch was served at 3:00pm and by 4:00p.m., I was in my bedroom taking a siesta. I went down a few times after, but really spent most of time in my bedroom with the dogs that were under house arrest for the night.
The very loud Spanish disco music stopped at 1:00 am and I could not believe it was physically possible to listen to such aggravating sounds for so long. But that is exactly what parents said about our music when we were young.
I was overwhelmed with emotion that I had restored the house and garden to such a high standard that everyone was in awe of its beauty. So the point is that “too much is not enough” really works for shoes, houses, and life.