Chapter 10
What to wear when your lover says he is coming over for coffee but absolutely no sex?

…and he says it 6 times. It’ s always fun to get dressed for these visits, as he never knows if I am coming or going. So I can wear anything from an evening gown to ripped jeans (meanwhile I had them before anybody else).

I used to spend 3 days getting ready, but now we are like an old married couple, so I just about remember to shave my legs. It’s been going on a long time because he hardly ever sees me.

I have had my assortment of lovers, usually younger, and I always went crazy, out of my mind in love, and I have to tell you they did also. But Maximilian and I are much more age appropriate, even though I am still 8 years older. In the end it’s better.

I once read a book strictly about affairs, and it said the average amount of time it can last is 2 years, and I swear by all my La Perla lingerie that is exactly the amount of time it does last. The first year everyone is on perfect behavior, second year people tend to drift into that comfort zone of being a “couple” and things start taking a slippery slope down hill of not so special anymore, like marriage.

I can be the perfect girlfriend for just about 12 months, and then I want more, and more and more. The weekends are killers. There is some unwritten or written law: never call the girlfriend on the weekends.

After 15 years of dinners and me complaining about everything a Jewish or non Jewish woman could complain about at a diner, like the seating arrangement, the music, the weather conditions and the service (I never ever complained about the food as I was always dieting and never ate enough to complain about), he finally one night hit me with the bomb saying:

“Can’t you imagine we are in a glass bubble and it’s just me and you in that bubble and nothing else matters? “

Interesting concept I thought, interesting also after so many years of me complaining he finally reached his breaking point. I sat quietly and then asked him quite seriously:

¨Well, where can we go to buy this glass bubble?”

Soon after, once a week became once a month, and then almost never. The attraction never left and we got together after a very long time for a dinner and as I was making up, I kept chanting “Do not complain, do not complain, do not complain.” As soon as I got in the car, I proudly made the very adult statement, that I wasn’t going to complain about anything that evening, no matter how awful it was going to be.

We got to the restaurant that he chose (second time) as the first time was so terrible, I never let him forget it. And they seated us in the worst table in the place. He looked at me and then he made the waiter move us, right behind a round table of 7 German business men.

Ok. I was quiet. It was so very difficult, but I managed. Just a few tips for anyone out there that is having an affair, NO COMPLAINING. They get that at home, all the time.

But we have a real friendship and a very strong attraction, and so it still goes on, not as much as I would like. I have to accept that he has a big business to run, a lot of personal responsibilities, and I am low on his list of “to do” things.

I am happy he is coming over for coffee, an European tradition, more casual than a “drink”. But not so happy about the 6 siren blasts about No Sex.

It’ s a very hot, humid and late afternoon, I am already fully made up from another appointment, so that saves an hour, I decide to just put on a lovely white silk robe, and keep my lingerie of the day on. I so regret that it did not match, and if I could reshoot the day, I would have certainly put on a matching set, as why do we buy matching sets if not like a huge occasion like this? He arrives, and is so sweet. I make him a George Clooney expresso, and top it off with whip cream, as I have no milk. We sit outside in my tropical palm leafed terrace as the sun starts to go down… He has a dinner appointment shortly with  his family he explains and that is why he has no time, but we talk for about 45 minutes.

Ok, I am not the director of this movie, just the star. I would have used the 45 minutes for other things, but I want to show that I am a good listener. Actually I think I did all the talking. Then he leans over and starts to kiss me softly, and then I stand over his chair with my legs spread apart and the silk robe opening in all the right places, then he says “ it is so uncomfortable here, why don’t we go inside?”

Changing his place? Chair to kitchen floor…what a good idea!

Good idea

I know it was my shoes. My shoes were SEE ME, sexy, but still casual. Kind of like a glamorous at home slipper, and that’s also a good thing, they slip right off, just at the right time. Easy off is what I need, especially at times like this.

Style SEE ME
Style SEE ME


“Too much is not enough” no matter the age.